• Dad: Plz don’t text while u drive
  • Me: I’m in the back seat
  • Dad: PlZ drive from the front seat.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 2 votes

March 24, 2015

  • Dad: You didn’t text. Did your plane crash?
  • Me: No, sorry, fell asleep.
  • Dad: As long as you’re safe.
  • Dad: What happens to illegally parked frogs?
  • Dad: They get toad. Sleep tight.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 3 votes

March 24, 2015

Tags:

  • Me: Know what’s awesome?
  • Mom: Me.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 2 votes

March 24, 2015

  • Mom: Take vitamins– b complex, c, magnesium and d since u dont eat veggies! Will keep u from getting dick again
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 1 votes

March 24, 2015

  • Me: hope you’re having fun!!
  • Dad: Trying to, it’s working!
  • Dad: I blew out my flip flop!!!!!
  • Me: uh oh don’t have TOO much fun.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 17 votes

August 12, 2014

  • DAD: You need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with somebody else
  • DAD: Until you get desperate and marry someone like your mother
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 29 votes

August 12, 2014

Tags:

  • Mom: I need chocolate
  • Me: Rough day?
  • Mom: (I have a date with the father of my children this evening.)
  • Me: Where are y’all going?
  • Mom: Don’t know.
  • Mom: Want to join us?
  • Mom: It couldn’t get worse.
  • Mom: Don’t tell him I said that.
  • Mom: That would make him sad.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 16 votes

August 12, 2014

Tags:

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