— Below are all the messages from Dad —
- Me: Whole wheat tortilla, eggs, ham, spinach, peach mango salsa, and a touch of jdawg sauce.
- Dad: Purple, socks, iPhone, kindness, frivolity, cereal, and a touch of je ne sais quoi.
- Me: Purple?
- Dad: As random as your text.
- Dad: Oh wait, you ATE those things together?
- Dad: It just read as a random string of foods. Jk lols rofl.
December 3, 2013
- Me: What about faye?
- Dad: Faye, Esther….she could end up playing Mah Jong on Friday nights
- Me: You should try writing for snl dad
- Dad: It’s past my bedtime
November 27, 2013
- Dad: Mom is singing to her dice before rolling. Please pray!
October 30, 2013
- Dad: I WANT TO DRIVE THE VETTE TOPLESS
- Me: … you or the car?
October 28, 2013
- Mom: Just ran into Laura Smith, what a nice girl.
- Me: Oh ya she’s cool, I haven’t seen her in a thousand years
- Mom: What
- Mom: I’m really having a hard time with this phone can we just talk with 2 cocanut halfes with a string tied between them on a dessert island?
October 10, 2013
- Dad: Where are you? YMWTK
- Me: I’m at Starbucks. What is YMWTK?
- Dad: Your mother wants to know.
October 8, 2013