— Below are all the messages from Dad —
- dad: bat nearly dead.
- me: what?
- dad: did i send u something?
- me: yes. bat nearly dead??
- dad: dead.
- me: what are you talking about?
- dad: drvng now.
- me: what is going on??
- dad: i sent u a photo but then had to turn of fone so i said battery nearly dead. Driving again now.
February 21, 2014
- Dad: I know Matt’s busy at work, but we’re going to call to say Happy Birthday anyway!
- Me: Ok
- (5 minutes later)
- Dad: Can you send me his number again? Your mother and I just sang happy birthday to a stranger.
- Me: YOU’RE KIDDING.
- Dad: No. The guy who answered was very confused. Number please.
January 21, 2014
- Dad: I think you left your eyelashes in the downstairs bathroom.
- Me: oh yeah my bad
- Dad: Just glad I saw them first, mommy would have tried to kill them.
January 4, 2014
- Me: Whole wheat tortilla, eggs, ham, spinach, peach mango salsa, and a touch of jdawg sauce.
- Dad: Purple, socks, iPhone, kindness, frivolity, cereal, and a touch of je ne sais quoi.
- Me: Purple?
- Dad: As random as your text.
- Dad: Oh wait, you ATE those things together?
- Dad: It just read as a random string of foods. Jk lols rofl.
December 3, 2013
- Me: What about faye?
- Dad: Faye, Esther….she could end up playing Mah Jong on Friday nights
- Me: You should try writing for snl dad
- Dad: It’s past my bedtime
November 27, 2013
- Dad: Mom is singing to her dice before rolling. Please pray!
October 30, 2013