- MOM: Adele is pregnant and Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are divorcing! It’s mayhem out here!!!
- ME: you know all the scoop
- MOM: I’m a research scientist
- ME: you’re too much right now, who is Adele’s baby daddy?
- MOM: Duh, Simon Konecki. Where have you been?
- ME: where do you find this shit out?
- MOM: I’m an Internet ninja