• Dad: Knock knock
  • Me: Who’s there?
  • Dad: Control freak.
  • Dad: Now you say control freak who.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 37 votes

March 7, 2014

Tags:

  • Mom: Went clothes shopping today, it was no fun as usual. I did enjoy farting all over the mall though.
  • Me: so when you didn’t find clothes you liked you farted in their store and left?
  • Mom: No, the farting wasnt personal. Just needed to be done.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 23 votes

March 4, 2014

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  • Grandmother: I wanted to call and wish Jamie a Happy Birthday, but I didn’t have her number. So then I decided I would text her, but we aren’t friends on Facebook!
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 17 votes

March 4, 2014

Tags:

  • Mom: Javi neutered- in recovery and doing well! I will pick him up after work!
  • Dad: He also had some baby teeth removed. He can put all his parts under the pillow tonight. Hmmm…not sure what the nut fairy leaves.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 27 votes

March 4, 2014

Tags:

  • Me: Where are you?
  • (3 hours later)
  • Mom: In the kitchen
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 14 votes

March 4, 2014

  • DAD: You still up?
  • ME: Yeah, what’s going on?
  • 5 minutes pass…
  • ME: Do I need to call?
  • DAD: I’m planning on coming up and looking at that car tomorrow – colonoscopy rescheduled cause I ate some sesame seeds and peanuts this past week – an activity APPARENTLY FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT….
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 31 votes

February 21, 2014

Tags:

  • Dad: How’s the bum?
  • (10 mins later)
  • Dad: Concerned about you as a whole person as well.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 30 votes

February 21, 2014

Tags:

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