• dad: bat nearly dead.
  • me: what?
  • dad: did i send u something?
  • me: yes. bat nearly dead??
  • dad: dead.
  • me: what are you talking about?
  • dad: drvng now.
  • me: what is going on??
  • dad: i sent u a photo but then had to turn of fone so i said battery nearly dead. Driving again now.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 4 votes

February 21, 2014

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  • Mom: Please don’t text me for the next hour I’m going to be on the treadmill.
  • Me: I wasn’t planning on texting you.
  • Mom: What did I just say?
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 40 votes

January 21, 2014

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  • Dad: I know Matt’s busy at work, but we’re going to call to say Happy Birthday anyway!
  • Me: Ok
  • (5 minutes later)
  • Dad: Can you send me his number again? Your mother and I just sang happy birthday to a stranger.
  • Me: YOU’RE KIDDING.
  • Dad: No. The guy who answered was very confused. Number please.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 40 votes

January 21, 2014

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  • Mom: If your dad or sister asks where the rice krispy treats went I’ll explain that I had to eat your share
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 18 votes

January 4, 2014

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  • Me: I don’t know how to take 8 wine bottles to recycling without looking crazy…
  • Mom: You have to stumble and sing loudly when you take the bottles down
  • Mom: Maybe hug an old lady and say “dad!”
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 32 votes

January 4, 2014

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  • Mom: I need a get-rich-quick scheme
  • Me: can we sell our kidneys?
  • Mom: no we need our spare kidney for when alcohol kills the first one
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 25 votes

January 4, 2014

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  • Mom: Molly has bingo cheeks
  • Me: Huh?
  • Mom: They’re floppy
  • Mom: Like bingo arms
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 8 votes

January 4, 2014

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