Rationing

ME: Grandma just left me a voicemail saying three adults and four kids from Linda’s family are coming.
DAD: We need a bigger house!
ME: Well I’ve done my part in crowd-control efforts by not getting married. :)
DAD: Smokers on the picnic table on the front porch, teens on the card tables in the dining room!
ME: We may not have enough pie for this lot of hooligans!!
DAD: Pie goes in my room.
ME: Mom says no food upstairs.
DAD: Dad says pies in his room with extremely limited access. Or we can only admit one guest per pie into the building.