Below are all the messages tagged booze

  • Me: I don’t know how to take 8 wine bottles to recycling without looking crazy…
  • Mom: You have to stumble and sing loudly when you take the bottles down
  • Mom: Maybe hug an old lady and say “dad!”
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 44 votes

January 4, 2014

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  • Mom: I need a get-rich-quick scheme
  • Me: can we sell our kidneys?
  • Mom: no we need our spare kidney for when alcohol kills the first one
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 33 votes

January 4, 2014

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  • Mom: did you get the tequila out?
  • Mom: the dogs r probably hot and need a drink.
  • Me: You give the dogs tequila?
  • Mom: oh… I meant water
  • Me: You cant type “tequila” and actually mean water
  • Mom: ahem, autocorrect
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 44 votes

December 3, 2013

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  • Grandma: get your papers done?
  • Me: you know it!
  • Grandma: I was so happy today
  • Grandma: I went and got drunk.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 45 votes

June 1, 2013

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  • Me: Last night I drank beers with a boa constrictor wrapped up in my hair. Apparently snakes love good hair.
  • Mom: There are some things you do on the weekends that a mother never needs to know about.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 59 votes

April 21, 2013

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  • ME: I need to write a paper about an important recipe in my family like something that’s been passed down.
  • MOM: Rum and coke
  • ME: How does that make sense
  • MOM: I made it and now you make it I PASSED IT DOWN
  • MOM: and it’s important
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 69 votes

February 3, 2013

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  • Grandpa: Grammie complained. TOO much rum but sucked it all down. We are carrying her to the car now
  • Grandpa: I think I heard her say something about tomorrow Not sure , she’s mumbling
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 28 votes

January 31, 2013

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