— Below are all the messages tagged booze —
- Mom: did you get the tequila out?
- Mom: the dogs r probably hot and need a drink.
- Me: You give the dogs tequila?
- Mom: oh… I meant water
- Me: You cant type “tequila” and actually mean water
- Mom: ahem, autocorrect
December 3, 2013
- Grandma: get your papers done?
- Me: you know it!
- Grandma: I was so happy today
- Grandma: I went and got drunk.
June 1, 2013
- Me: Last night I drank beers with a boa constrictor wrapped up in my hair. Apparently snakes love good hair.
- Mom: There are some things you do on the weekends that a mother never needs to know about.
April 21, 2013
- ME: I need to write a paper about an important recipe in my family like something that’s been passed down.
- MOM: Rum and coke
- ME: How does that make sense
- MOM: I made it and now you make it I PASSED IT DOWN
- MOM: and it’s important
February 3, 2013
- Grandpa: Grammie complained. TOO much rum but sucked it all down. We are carrying her to the car now
- Grandpa: I think I heard her say something about tomorrow Not sure , she’s mumbling
January 31, 2013
- Mom: On th wayy bak frm reunion be hoome son.
- Me: Are you texting while you’re driving?
- Mom: Yur fatherrr is drving im tryng to drnk my roadie
January 15, 2013
- 4 in the morning:
- Dad: You are smart, beautiful, funny and tall I luv u.
- Me: Dad are you drunk?
- Dad: Ya, I would never say that when Im sober
December 25, 2012