— Below are all the messages tagged colonoscopy —
Mom: Your father requested chicken and dumplings for his last supper.
Me: What’s happening to him?
Mom: Routine colonoscopy Monday.
November 11, 2012
MOM: On my third large glass of miralax…the dam is still holding…the fort is still not overrun! xo
May 24, 2012
DAD: i just got a 50th birthday card from the state of delaware telling me to enjoy my special day and to get a rectal colon exam. Wtf not kidding.
May 3, 2012
Dad: How long does it take colon-blow to work?
Me: Umm, what?? Are you prepping for a colonoscopy?
Dad: No-took it for fun!
(later) Dad: Answer–33 minutes
November 6, 2011
Dad: Sorry I missed your call – I’m old now and can’t hear so well. I’m only going to work till noon – then I thought I would go home, pull weeds, and eat some oatmeal so I can prepare for the colonoscopy that Mom’s dying to schedule me for. I think this is what old guys do on their birthday. Just kidding.
September 8, 2011
MOM: Hi honey, had the colonoscopy yesterday. Woke up with a really sore throat and make-up missing from one eye…what’s up with that?
April 4, 2011
MOM: Text your dad and tell him you’re glad his test went well.
ME: What test?
MOM: His colonoscopy!
March 26, 2011