Below are all the messages tagged dating

  • mom: will you go out tonight and party with your friends or stay home and eat meatballs alone again?
  • me: meatballs
  • mom: please go out I want grandchildren
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 173 votes

March 12, 2013

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  • Mom: Are u bringing him to Laguna to meet your mummy?
  • Mom: He should meet me because I’m the only smart, beautiful and sane person in your family tree. Lol
  • Me: Hey, what about me?
  • Mom: Not counting you of course.
  • Mom: You are the smartest most beautiful nut on the tree!
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 26 votes

February 11, 2013

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  • Mom: Caitlyn I love you my precious daughter and sweetheart but not comfortable with new bf spending night.
  • Mom: Do you like white cheddar cheez its?
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 25 votes

January 15, 2013

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  • MOM: So if you want me to still fix you up, Kyle at the Liquor Barn is available.
  • ME: Who is that??
  • MOM: The guy at the checkout of course.
  • ME: Do you really want me to date a checkout guy from Liquor Barn? Ignore the perks of free boxed wine for just a second, please.
  • MOM: Your Dad agrees with you, but FREE LIQUOR! Just think about it honey.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 38 votes

November 21, 2012

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  • Mom: We r at henlopen oyster hse. The Russian shucker was asking about u & wanted ur #!
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 15 votes

November 6, 2012

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  • Dad: I had a bad dream about you. We got in a terrible fight because you wanted to date Russell Brand. You don’t know him do you? Call me.
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 63 votes

October 21, 2012

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  • Me: He texted me today and said, “Hey how have you been? I just wanted to say I miss you.”
  • Mom: Just reply “Everything is great a**hole. Bye.”
  • Me: Hahahaha. No.
  • Mom: Or maybe “Of course you miss me what else is there?”
  • Mom: Or how about “Had much beer tonight?”
  • Mom: Or “You might be a rich bastard but your mama didn’t teach you no manners mr. bowtie.”
  • Me: Hahahahaha what has gotten into you?
  • Mom: Don’t f*** with my little girl has gotten into me.
  • Me: I’m laughing so hard. I wish I could tweet this.
  • Mom: You do that and I’LL f*** with you.
  • Mom: So how are you going to respond?
  • Me: Well, I don’t want to be a b**ch.
  • Mom: Ok. Ask him about his graduation.
  • Mom: Type “Are you a graduate?”
  • Mom: “With a BS in BS?”
One star!Two stars!!Three stars!!!Four stars!!!!Five stars!!!!! 182 votes

August 15, 2012

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