— Below are all the messages tagged jokes —
- Me: If there are a bunch of ants on my floor, is that cause for concern?
- Dad: Any uncles?
August 26, 2013
- Dad: you better call me back or I’m making you bald on xcom.
- Me: that would be unfortunate.
- Dad: I’m brutal like that, I already changed your sister’s nickname to Sgt. Farty
- (30 min later)
- Dad: Sgt. Farty gravely wounded!! Once again- Sgt. Farty gravely wounded!!
August 6, 2013
- DAD: I love u
- ME: love you too!
- DAD: its my favorite vowell
July 11, 2013
- Dad: As the cat said when the lawnmower ran over his tail…
- Me: What?
- Dad: It won’t be long now
June 6, 2013
- Me: Does olive oil go bad?
- Mom: I don’t think so. Your stepdad says, “Google that shit.”
- Mom: He would like to add that Popeye loves it when Olive Oil is bad.
April 17, 2013
- MOM: Easter dinner is Sunday night at our house. Hope u guys r free. Be there or be….oval (like an egg!)
March 28, 2013
- Me: We have a new pope.
- Mom: I know.
- Me: they haven’t released his name yet but it should be soon.
- Me: oh wait, they just did! He’s from Argentina!
- Mom: Ole!
March 13, 2013