— Below are all the messages tagged postcollege —
Dad: Turdball; you didn’t tell us you got to work and you didn’t put the cover on the feta and it spilled all over the fridge
Me: Sorry. Didn’t eat feta…
September 27, 2012
MOM: I don’t know why you have trouble with plugging the toilet but I have a BIG PROBLEM with you not telling anyone about it VERY DISRUPTIVE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS! If there is any doubt of a complete flush CHECK IT
May 6, 2011
ME: Happy friday
DAD: Hows your internship going? Remember, it’s not about whether you win or lose, it’s about the money.
April 18, 2011
ME: I can honestly say I’m not interested in anyyy boys right now
MOM: well, I think that’s good. when you graduate you can roam the earth
MOM: like a dinosaur
April 9, 2011
Me: I’m tired of job hunting.
Dad: I’m sorry. I know something will turn up for you.
Me: I hope so. I’m trying not to get anxious, but I want to start putting some money in savings.
Dad: I smell what you’re stepping in.
January 8, 2011
Mom: Are you coming out soon?
Me: I’ll be out in a minute!
Mom: Hurry up! I feel like an ass parked in front of the bar sitting in the minivan in my jammies.
December 15, 2010
Dad: Maybe you can work for the IRS. (if you don’t know what that is, look it up on facebook or something like that)
December 7, 2010